Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to sanitize my soul.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
