didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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