Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize