I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
