you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
