your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im holly from the hills drunk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
