do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
