Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
