I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Come share oat with me in your robe
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize