Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
