But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
50% drunk capacity currently
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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