Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
