im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
