My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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