i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
