I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
