Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize