She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Pants are for mortals
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