I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
