I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A bitchslap is in order.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
