Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
