I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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