you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
