i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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