atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize