There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
