a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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