Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
