we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
