someone get that fucking seahorse.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
handjob tips. give me some.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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