Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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