those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
