The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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