So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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