Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
