i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
