Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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