So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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