My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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