After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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