Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
