How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
