1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
