I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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