Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
