and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
