i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got inside last night via doggy door
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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