Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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