Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
