guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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