Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
