it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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