nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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