Yo dont text me then not text me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize