Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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