I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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