Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we made out on top of his cat.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize