My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
