my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
