At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
