We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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