birth control should be required to get into college
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
