Tell her she can't have a vagina
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
