Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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