I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
