I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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