Where is the hickey?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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