I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't deserve a penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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