so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize